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Round & Round. Friday, September 4 I feel childish after reading back my previous post. I haven't been talking to mum eversince. Been three days now. I miss calling 'mama'. I haven't been eating properly either. Dad was worried. As I laid on my bed, sobbing, dad came to check on me again. For the second time. He have been witnessing me crying for the past two days now. He knows how I feel. and he wants me to be patient, just like him. Endure, endure and endure. Thinking back, I wonder...since when have I become so vulnerable? Crying everytime even for the smallest thing. I ain't that strong like how I used to be now. ________________________ Happiness. Something that everybody deserves, no matter how bad he or she is. Even if he or she had done a great sin, I think he or she still deserve to be happy. We live only once after all. At times, it keeps me wondering.. Why do some people despice people who did something bad previously, being happy? I am no exception. Have to admit that sometimes, looking at bastards or traitors who puts on a smile and laughing out loud disgusts me. But why do I feel this way? I don't even know. But when I really think bout it, putting myself in his or her shoes, and seeing everybody turned their back at me, ignoring me, is lonely. Therefore, this is the reason why I forgive people easily eventho he or she had bruised me badly. Because I know, everything happens for a reason. I have done the wrong things myself. I know partially how it feels. _______________________ N levels next week. I'm studying like crazy. I've put aside anything else. Not all but most. Half of the prelims result are out. Looking at it made me shiver. Just the 3 subs, I got 10 points. 5 for English, 1 for Mother Tongue and 4 for Social Studies. This is only the prelims. What bout N levels next week? If I scored 10 in the 3 subjects, I'll need just 9 points to pass. To proceed to sec 5. But I don't think I wanna proceed to sec 5. I rather take O level as a private candidate and pay a tutor to teach me. Its much better this way because the tutor only focus on one person rather than a class which have at most 30 students in it. Oh I don't know ): What I know is that I don't wanna go ITE. Not cuz ITE means 'its the end' to me. No, not the end... but I just fear the influence I'm gonna get. Knowing myself, I know I won't be able to cope with it. ): Urgh, its driving me crazy. Baby, help me. |
 Love is just a word till someone you meet gives it a meaning. Me.  Nur Fareena, 17. 20 July'93. Like any other humans, I have inperfections. I have my own strength & weaknesses. Words can't pull me down, now. Cuz I'm stronger, than yesterday. Speak. Links Friendster Tagged FRIENDS. August2006 - June2009 June2009 - July2009 Archives Music. | |